Admit it, I was surprised.
If you are from apple– Clean persuasion, ie.
Apple designers and engineers have taken the ugliest part of your iPhone screen and turned it into a swan that swoops in with glorious, effortless elegance.
It really was nothing wrong with it. With a distinctive downplay, Apple showcased the iPhone 14 Pro Dynamic Island as “a shape-shifting, multitasking, eye-catching, game-changing iPhone experience.”
And now your head is spinning in this varied height of excitement.
But there was more: “Dynamic Island blends fun and functionality like never before, integrating your notifications, alerts, and activities into one interactive place.”
I cried “please”. “Give me more. This is the coolest thing I’ve seen since Face ID.”
I was with you of course. For the longest seconds, I stared at this brilliance and appreciated how useful it was.
That night, though, I had a strange nightmare. Or was it a nightmare?
You are in an inaccurate future. I was bringing a new file iPhone 14 Pro. Suddenly, a message widened and rushed towards me. He was encouraging me to buy, wait, was it an AppleTV+ show? Or AirPods? Or a new laundry detergent? It is not clear to me now.
What is clear is that Dynamic Island has become the vehicle for something not everyone loves. Or, more accurately, something that not everyone recognizes.
All this cool new motion on my iPhone screen has been usurped by dealers. Could one of those commercials be Apple?
In my dream – or was it a nightmare? – Allow advertisers to design special animations that will dynamically bloom in front of you and spread across your phone screen.
In my nightmare – or was it a dream? Apple was selling the idea of an exclusive ad format – Dynamic Isle-ad – to major brands.
There was another person slamming into my face. Was he tempting me with Maalox? Or Botox? There were strange colors and shapes. Everything beats like a very bad hangover, or a very good delirium.
Why did these images and thoughts invade my sleep?
It could be because Apple has given the impression that they are very interested in it Securing more advertising revenue For its burgeoning services balance sheet?
It’s clearly weakened Facebook’s ability to generate unreasonable heaps of profits, as the infamous company hovers around every iPhone click.
I woke up for a moment and knew what to do. I called Apple to ask if ads could magically be shown across iPhone screens sometime in the near future. Like, say, two weeks.
I went back to sleep and the dynamic ad images kept popping up. I was sure one of them was actually Jason Sudeikis whispering that I should have watched Season 3 of Ted Lasso Or I have no friends left.
I started talking to myself in my sleep.
“Sometimes ads can be so much fun and involve engagement,” I said.
I replied, “Disclosure: I get involved in them from time to time.” “Designing dynamic ads that could be a great thing would be an interesting creative challenge.”
The conversation continued.
I said, “Let’s face it, whether you like it or not, you actually get ads on your iPhone home screen.” “Whether you want them or not.”
I replied, “That’s right.” “I get notifications about texts from allegedly reputable research companies. I also receive highly ignorant political texts – those that only once force me to respond in direct terms. And then there are the sheer selling or just scams.”
I interrupted him: “What if that touch got more creative and Apple started charging for the franchise somehow?”
Then I got up and looked at my email. No response from Apple yet. What were you thinking?
No, Apple wouldn’t allow that kind of thing, would it?
It was just a nightmare, right?